Sometimes I find myself gazing at the moon and noticing how the stars are very luminous at night. Then my mind goes blank…..and suddenly everything that was bothering me that day or in the past erases from my mind at the moment. Some seconds pass on by, and then YOU appear in my mind. I keep asking myself as to why YOU always come to mind when i’m trying let YOU go! It really creeps me out. I try to keep myself busy to keep YOU off my mind and YOU always come up and I wish this shit would fucking STOP, but as much as I try it won’t! When I have moments to myself I always think back on how everything was fine, the love was beyond words could express, and then one day because of time, the talking stopped for months. This hurts more than a sock to the face or a kick to the knee. The pain continues to hurt when someone asks how YOU are and I can’t give them a real answer because we don’t talk. I hold all my emotion in, to not let anyone see that I am hurt. I hold back all the tears when a song comes on and am reminded of YOU and sometimes, only sometimes I feel a tear slowly sliding down my cheek then to the side of my neck and I quickly wipe it off so no one can ask questions. Some days I ask myself if YOU still love me, if YOU still miss me, if YOU still want to hold me. But I will never know the answer. I can honestly say that I still love YOU and miss YOU deeply as much as I try not to show it.
